Cedric's Eye's
by BabyJane14
Summary: The poor doll was scarred for life now, Dan was sure of it.


Two weeks ago he'd slept his nights in an old Eddie Bower sleeping bag on the floor of what had once been his lavishly decorated living room. The only thing that had kept him warm on those cold October nights was the thought of her body heat pressing against his, the allusion of her ands on his arms and chest. Even then as the scolding hot water from the shower rained over him he still felt cold. Only it wasn't cold in the literal sense, it was cold in the empty, distraught, unwanted sense.

He put his face up to the shower head letting the searing drops fall down his face and body as he tried to get the memories to stop playing over and over in his head. All the times he'd taken cold showers after getting off the phone with her or she'd the times she'd put a piece of tape over the iCam built into her lap top. Even in the short time they'd been together she'd showed him and taught him more mentally then he'd ever learned with any of the other girls he'd been with or around. She just had a way of getting under his skin in a good way, so much so that thinking about it gave him a heavy heart.

Nothing now was like it had once been. He was living in the Humphrey loft like he'd lived in Brooklyn his entire life. Everything he'd once known was gone, and that included the town car and black amex card he'd at one point relied so heavy on. He didn't complain about any of it, he couldn't. for the first time in Nathaniel Archibald's life he was somewhat happy. Being in the Humphrey loft showed him that an actually family did exist, they there was a such thing as unconditional love. He also knew that if he ever got the chance again he'd share what he'd learned and open up his full heart without hesitation.

No matter how hard he tried there was no brushing the fact that there was still something missing in his life. Nate knew exactly without any hesitation what it was. Yet he refused to admit it out loud because then it would really be real. He'd have to trust his heart to make decisions rather then his head and that simple fact scared him. He wanted and needed to push her away is how he felt. He needed to do it so she wouldn't be hurt and she wouldn't leave like so many others had done to him in the past before, how everyone had done to him. The thought of losing her was more intense and painful then any thoughts of anything he'd had in the past.

Turning off the water Nate leaned his head up against the wall and took a deep breath. Things were harder then he thought they would be on so many different levels. This was life now and he had to adjust.

* * *

_"Ok baby sister I have the apartment for the night. Can you stay at Dan's tonight? Oh and I don't have any money for the rent so you have it all right? Well I packed your bag for the night. A few of the girls are already here and I don't want them to think you're part of the show."_

Ruby had tossed the bad into her hands and sent her on her way without even asking her if it was alight. She was used to it, used to being completely alone or kicked out of her apartment. Ruby had a habit of pretending she didn't even exist. It wasn't a big deal to Vanessa, she could sleep on Dan's floor. As of late she had trouble staying in Jenny's room. Everything was always UES centered; UES ways were something Vanessa still couldn't handle just yet.

She pulled her self up the fire escape and tapped on the window frame until it knocked the books down and she could push open the window and climb through. She'd gotten up at four thirty to open the gallery at five as a special favor to Rufus. Now it was seven o'clock on a Friday night and Vanessa just wanted to lay down and shut her eyes. So slump back into her perfect dream land where she actually had the one thing she wanted and craved. Where she had him.

Dan wasn't in his bed room but the shower was running so Vanessa knew one of the Humphrey's was home. She didn't feel like putting in the effort of seeing who it was. She'd see them all in the morning when she got up anyway. She took off her coat and scarf and tossed them both on the chair at Dan's desk and yawned stretching her hands above her head as she walked back to the window and pulled the curtain to shut the outside world out.

Vanessa hadn't talked to Dan or Jenny lately, she hadn't been much of herself in fact. She buried herself into work and other things to keep her mind off the fact that she'd actually allowed herself to fall for someone only to have her heart broken into a million pieces. There wasn't a such thing of love she'd convinced herself, it all just ended up in hurt and pain. Some days she wondered if she would have been better just going back to Vermont with her parents.

With a deep sigh she shook her head out of her thoughts and pulled her pajamas out of her bag and started to slip her shirt off.

* * *

Pajamas and white tee shirt on he flipped the switch for the fan in the bathroom to clear the deep fog that had filled the windows and mirror from the steam. Jenny, Dan, and Rufus were out for a nice family dinner. He'd been invited but Nate wasn't ever one to impose on family times. He tossed the towel in the dirty clothes pile and started to retreat back to Dan's room to get his cell phone. His full intention to do what he did every night; stare at the buttons and try and force himself to call Vanessa and apologize. Something he knew he should have and needed to do.

The door to Dan's room was slightly ajar and had Dan not had a photo of he and Vanessa at the playground when they were nine up that Nate always stopped to look at before he walked into the room he would have just opened the door. Instead the photo had distracted him only to lead his eyes to the crack in the door. Just like a dream she was there. He could see her pulling off her tee shirt and reaching for a tank top. It wasn't even her body that possessed his eyes and made him not able to turn away or shut the door. It was her, everything about her. The memories of her kisses and her gentle touches, the way she was never afraid to say what was on her mind even if someone would disagree with it. She was unpredictable with what would come out of her mouth.

He still looking in the mirror that reflected her as she looked up. Her eyes caught his in the mirror and they stood in shock of one another. Eyes stuck on the appearance and the depth of one another's. he could see the tired hurt in hers and she could see weary pain in his. Together it all seemed to melt away and become part of the background with nothing mattering but one another. He wanted nothing more then to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms and just hold her there, breathing in the light scent of her strawberry shampoo just like the night in the café.

"I'm sorry… I'm just…."

Nate started to apologize and shut the door when something Vanessa snapped as she fixed the bottom of her shirt and tore across the room to him pulling the door back open from his shut. Seeing him start to close and head away would have killed her again and she wasn't sure if she could have handled it.

"No, Nate wait please"

Before she knew it her hand was right over his on the door and they were both frozen at the unexpected touch. Next thing they both knew he'd laced his fingers with hers as they stood there in Dan's door way looking at each other. They'd been like that for five minuets before either one of them spoke a single world.

"I'm alone V, completely alone. They took it all, everything, every last cent."

Under her gaze he felt so vulnerable yet so right at the same time. She was the one he'd wanted since it happened, since the moving van had taken all of his things away because she was the only one that would understand and not judge. She'd listened to him about everything always being caring and not judging, she'd always been what she needed.

"It's ok, I'm here, I'm here to listen, I always am."

She whispered to him, her free hand on the side of his face as his deep eyes shut at her touch saving the moment as thought it would be the last time she'd do it. With a gentle tug on his hand she pulled him back to sit on the end of Dan's bed. Everything about being tired went out the window for her. He was her energy. All she wanted to do was be there for him to vent and get it all out.

"It's, it's so much easer when you're here. I fuck up everything."

She started to shake her head but before she could actually finish the motion she'd moved forward and caught his upper lip between hers. She felt everything about both of their gloomy demeanors perk up at the electricity of their kiss. He was the one to initiate the next one, slipping his hand to the back of her neck and meeting her mouth again with his own.

"I'm a screw up V, and the only way it's all ok is if you're here with me."

Nate didn't want to move or blink, afraid that it would all just be a dream if he did. She pulled back from the kiss her eyes still locked with his, their hands still tightly lace in a grip that said 'I'm not letting you go again'.

"Lucky for you – I'll always be right here"

Both of them moved in at that same time the next time their lips met, his hand was tangled in her hair pulling her closer to him as she moved to pushing him backwards onto the bed.

Clothes were coming off and kisses became more lively and heated as they both fell in sink with every movement the other made. Hands touched needy and begging as everything fell into place. Even on the football sheets with Cedric observing from the bookshelf they didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that they were finally in the place they were supposed to be, in one another's arms.

* * *

Humphrey dinner had been a long drawn out one with Rufus and Jenny fighting through most of it as they ate their Thi dinners. Rufus had made her to pick something up for Nate later also. Nate who had declined on dinner and said he was just going to sit in and study. It wasn't normal Archibald behavior he was sure but nothing Nate did lately seemed to be anything that the old Nate would do. He respected this Nate more then the old Nate.

All of the lights in the Humphrey loft were off when they arrived home at first giving off the suggestion that Nate had in fact going out for the night, it was only nine, the night was still young and he was almost an adult with friends like Chuck Bass. But his cell phone on the table with thirteen missed calls flashing across the screen proved that either Nate was still there and asleep for the night or he'd run off far away from the city and it's inhabitance.

Jenny tossed on the light in the living room without thinking but there wasn't a complaint from anywhere in the room and no Nate asleep on the couch. They all looked from one another to the other, their house guest seemed to be out for the night.

"Ok, I'm going to call Clyde… it's been a while since we talked."

Rufus nodded his head knowingly as Dan let out a laugh before heading on his path back to his bedroom.

He walked into his room and flipped on the light without any hesitation as his eyes were glued to the small screen of his cell phone as he pulled up Serena's name and went to hit talk. The springs of his bed made him advert his eyes quickly from the screen to his bed only to find his best friend awake in a small haze clutching the red decorated sheet around her tightly as she sat up from Nate's arms.

Dan's eyes widened the size of tennis balls as he started to shade his eyes only to look down and see pieces of Nate and Vanessa's clothes they'd previously had on scattered here and there all over the floor.

"Vanessa!"

Dan whispered out as he stumbled back only to underestimate his steps and bang his head on the wall behind him and end up his normal Dan disoriented just like his wave in the cab. The noise of Dan banging his head on the door and a picture frame falling off of his wall made Nate jump and sit up with a start which in turn made Cedric fall from his perch on Dan's bookshelf beside the bed with a clunk on the floor. In the time of all of the commotion Dan and Nate came eye to eye and both suddenly felt like they were the size of ants compared to Vanessa who was now sitting straight up in bed holding the sheet and laughing.

"I um… uh… out there"

Dan said as he in haste started to turn around to the door. It was probably best if he took the couch for the night. His friends had apparently decided to play house in his bed and he was traumatized.

"Dan wait a second!"

Vanessa called out and Dan turned around and kept his hand over his eyes as he sort of peaked at her. She bent over the bed and Nate grabbed the sheet pulling it around her as she did so to avoid any further embarrassing moments for anyone. She picked up Cedric and tossed it to Dan who caught him with ease right away.

"Couldn't you have at least put him in the closet, why'd he have to be exposed to… ew"

Shaking his head a final time Dan shivered and walked out the door holding tightly to his cell phone and Cedric.

* * *

Once Dan was out of the room without hesitation Vanessa laid back down and ran her hand up Nate's built chest trying to press him to lie down also. With a small bit of hesitation he laid down also and pulled her into his arms where she'd been before.

"Morning time's going to be uncomfortable"

Nate commented as Vanessa snuggled closer to him and kissed his cheek as she hugged her body close as she could to his loving the feel of skin against skin.

"Yep, very much so"

Vanessa nodded her head in agreement as Nate lifted his head to place a light kiss on her lips.

"But oh so worth it"


End file.
